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Monday, March 22, 2010
Second series first script.
TKO #1
The Search for the Title
PAGE 1
PIC 1
Establishing shot- Rooftop in Japans Osakan district, night time, the light of a neon sign illuminates the rooftop.
CAPTIONS OSAKA JAPAN
CAPTIONS “MY NAME IS KURAMI, OTOMO. TOMI FOR SHORT.
PIC 2
Main character is leaning against a fence, blood trickling from her mouth. Wild hair, and narrowed eyes, slightly flared nose. Style of dress is up to you but please keep it in theme with Japanese punk and also it should emphasize movement. Sneakers probably. The neon light splashes her face.
OTOMO KURAMI MY HOBBIES INCLUDES READING, RACING, PARKOUR, PAINTING, AND DANCING. MY FAVORITE MOVIE IS KILL BILL.
PIC 3
A group of other punker parkour girls are on the other side with various blunt and sharp objects. About 5 total. Have fun with this part. Wild hair back lit from behind with the neon sign.
CAPTIONS I GUESS IF I HAD TO DESCRIBE MYSELF IN ONE WORD IT WOULD BE… ATTITUDE.
PIC 4
Tomi lifts her hands to block her face, fists loose, elbows spread wide, hips square lowered position. This should be the stance she takes whenever action is about to happen. The calm before the storm if you will. She spits blood on the ground contemptuously.
CAPTIONS OH, I ALSO THINK I SHOULD MENTION THAT I LIKE FIGHTING.
PAGE 2
PIC 1
CAPTIONS A LOT
She throws out a low side kick to the first girls shin. The other girls are slightly shocked eyes should be wide, but not too wide. Mouths a little open.
PIC 2
Tomi closer now fires an elbow to the first ones jaw. A tooth goes flying along with blood.
PIC 3
First Girl drops unconscious, eyes roll back, the other girls warily ready their weapons.
PIC 4
They charge swinging and lunging. Tomi blocks a boken with her shin, it breaks, her face isn’t even pained. She simultaneously evades a knife thrust from behind.
CAPTIONS I LEARNED HOW TO LOVE FIGHTING FROM MY DAD
PIC 5
She knees boken girl with her other knee shattering her face.
CAPTIONS HE WAS ONCE UNDEFEATED IN MIXED MARTIAL ARTS COMPETETIONS. UNTIL MOM DIED.
PIC 6
Knife girl recovers from her lunge and along with the last girl they flank Tomi. She watches them carefully one has a taser.
CAPTIONS HE RETIRED AFTER THAT
PAGE 3
PIC 1
The taser girl lunges forward, but her wrist is grabbed by Tomi and dislocated with an audible Pop!.
CAPTIONS SOME FANS NEVER FORGAVE HIM AFTER THAT. I’M ONE OF THEM
PIC 2
The motion for the lunge continues until the taser is met with the body of the knife girl.
CAPTIONS YOU MAY THINK I’M JUST REBELLING AGAINST MY FATHER AND SEE IT AS JUST A PHASE, BUT I DON’T.
PIC 3
Knife girl drops. Taser girl is struck in the face with a headbutt from Tomi.
CAPTIONS HE DOESN’T EITHER, HE UNDERSTANDS WHY I FEEL BETRAYED. HE DOESN’T SEE IT AS REBELLION. HE LOOKS AT ME AND SEES HIS YOUTH.
PIC 4
Taser girl falls and its just Tomi standing.
CAPTIONS “SIGH “ JUST SO YOU KNOW THESE GIRLS HAD IT COMING.
PIC 5
Tomi spray painting on the roof top. Big letters. Losers! With an arrow pointing to the defeated.
CAPTIONS THEY CALLED MY DAD A COWARD. NOBODY CALLS HIM THAT.
PAGE 4
PIC 1
Big panel splash page. Rooftop with Tomi standing on top of it backlit by neon, the concrete is covered in graphitti. In big letters T.K.O.! Search for the title.
PAGE 5
PIC 1
Tomi jumping off the edge of the roof, and onto another roof, and then onto another roof.
PIC 2
Her landing in crouched position facing the “camera” staring forward in concentration. Sweat should be visible.
PIC 3
She checks her watch.
CAPTIONS SHIT! I’M LATE.
PIC 4
She takes off into the night.
OTOMO KURAMI DAD IS GOING TO BE PISSED. I’L PROBABLY HAVE TO DO PUSH UPS UNTIL MY ARMS FALL OFF.
PIC 5
She’s by her car, the tires are slashed and the windows are
smashed in she’s visibly distressed.
PIC 6
She screams “Cockbags!” and kicks her car, causing a dent.
CAPTIONS COCKBAGS!
PAGE 6
PIC 1
She walks into a ratty spiraling apartment building. People sleeping outside women standing on a corner. Garbage everywhere. The building is tagged too.
A drunk by the door says
DRUNK HEY TOMI YOU OLD ENOUGH TO GO OUT WITH ME YET?
OTOMO KURAMI DIE IN A FIRE.
PIC 2
She walks to the elevator and the door opens.
PIC 3
Two men dressed in wild osakan Yakuza suits and hair with sunglasses walk out. Tomi ignores them as they walk past. They make a comment about her, but she doesn’t say anything back.
CAPTIONS YAKUZA RUN THIS LITTLE SECTION OF OSAKA AND THOUGH I WOULD LOVE TO SAY SOMETHING WITTY AND CRASS AND MAYBE BUST SOME HEADS, I GOTTA PLAY IT COOL TO AVOID PAYBACK. IT WOULD BE BAD FOR BOTH ME AND DAD OTHERWISE.
PIC 4
Elevator closes.
PIC 5
This door unlike the other doors in this complex is made of steel, she knocks loudly
SOUND EFFECT CLANG, CLANG, CLANG .
PIC 6
The door opens and her father, a short barreled chested, mustached, man dressed in a Hawaiian shirt with a wife beater underneath. A pair of boxers on, with sandals.
CAPTION MY FATHER THE HERO.
PAGE 7
PIC 1
He smiles at her with deep laugh lines as she walks passed
ODA KUMA KUMARI TOMI YOU LOOK RIDICULOUS.
OTOMO KURAMI I LOOK RIDICULOUS? LOOK AT YOURSELF! YOU LOOK LIKE A STUNT COCK FOR MAGNUM P.I.
PIC 2
The apartment is very Spartan with one corner dedicated to training equipment, a table with two chairs in the kitchen , an old CD player and a laptop. He smiles wider.
ODA KUMA KUMARI YOUR WIT IS STILL AS SHARP AS A SWORD. WILL THE PRINCESS BE DINING WITH ME TODAY?
OTOMO KURAMI THE PRINCESS WILL. WE DEMAND BEEF AND PEPPERS. AND INSISTS YOU PUT YOUR PANTS ON. YOU LOOK LIKE A PACHINKO BUDDHA.
PIC 3
They sit at the table and between them they lock eyes.
CAPTION HE DIDN’T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT ME BEING LATE AND HE’S IN A GOOD MOOD EVEN THOUGH I BACK TALKED HIM. NO THERE’S MORE TO IT. WHAT’S GOING ON HERE?
PIC 4
Focuses on her father as he stares his daughter down, a half smile creeping onto his face.
CAPTION OH MY GOD! HE’S GOING TO FIGHT! I CAN SEE IT NOW. THAT’S WHY HE DIDN’T MIND ME BEING LATE.
PIC 5
She points at him and screams
OTOMO KURAMI YOU’RE GOING TO FIGHT AREN’T YOU!
PIC 6
He says with his head cocked
ODA KUMA KUMARI HOW’D YOU KNOW?
OTOMO KURAMI I KNOW YOU, YOU’VE BEEN IN A FUNK FOR A LONG TIME AND THE ONLY TIME YOU LET ME GET AWAY WITH TALKING BACK WAS WHEN THERE WAS A FIGHT COMING UP.
PAGE 8
PIC 1
Shes by him now hugging him from behind. Looking forward as he does too. Neither meet eyes.
OTOMO KURAMI WHENS THE FIGHT?
ODA KUMA KUMARI A MONTH FROM NOW.
PIC 2
It’s a close u of Tomi’s face she’s looking side ways at her fathers face and she has a skeptical look on her face.
OTOMO KURAMI YOU CAN’T GET INTO PEAK IN A MONTH, THAT’S TOO SHORT OF NOTICE.
PIC 3
It’s a close up of her fathers face. His face is determined and he’s looking straight ahead.
ODA KUMA KUMARI I CAN AND I WILL
PIC 4
It’s back to both of them staring forward.
OTOMO KURAMI WHAT WEIGHT CLASS?
ODA KUMA KUMARI NO WEIGHT CLASS IN THIS BOUT KIDDO.
PIC 5
She spins his chair to face her and looks him in the eye. He’s a little heartbroken to hear the words she’s saying.
OTOMO KURAMI DAD I’M JUST GOING TO SAY THIS ONCE. I LOVE YOU AND I’M GLAD YOU’RE FIGHTING AGAIN, BUT YOU’RE 38 YEARS OLD; YOU’RE OUT OF YOUR PRIME, OUT OF SHAPE, OUT OF PRACTICE, ANY OTHER PERSON WOULDN’T EVEN BE CONSIDERING THIS MATCH.
PIC 6
He looks hopeful and starts to smile.
OTOMO KURAMI BUT I KNOW IF THERE’S ANYBODY ALIVE THAT CAN DO IT, IT’S YOU.
ODA KUMA KURAMI THANK’S TOMI
OTOMO KURAMI DON’T THANK ME YET YOU’RE ABOUT TO GO THROUGH THE WORST HELL OF YOUR LIFE.
PAGE 9
PIC 1
It’s the start of a montage. These series of breaks are based entirely around the Otomo and her father working out. This first panel is Her father doing push ups, he’s sweating horribly. I get an image of Her dad doing pushups and the camera is right in his face, with Otomo’s feet directly to the sides in the peripheral of the camera. His voice is shaky here.
ODA KUMA KURAMI 9… 10…
OTOMO KURAMI LAME. YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE ONE DOING ALL OF THOSE PUSH UPS.
WEEK 1
PIC 2
He’s doing sit ups.
ODA KUMA KURAMI 9… 10…
OTOMO KURAMI PATHETIC. YOU’RE BETTER THAN THIS OLD TIMER. YOU GOING TO LET SOME YOUNG PUNK TAKE YOU DOWN?
PIC 3
He’s doing hand drills with the big red mitts. He’s sweating profusely and he looks like he’s going to pass out. He’s throwing a jab.
OTOMO KURAMI ONE…
PIC 4
He’s throwing a straight.
OTOMO KURAMI TWO…
PIC 5
He doesn’t move and gets struck in the head by the mitt.
OTOMO KURAMI DUCK…
PIC 6
She throws the mitts on the ground in frustration.
OTOMO KURAMI PATHETIC. THAT’S IT. ROAD WORK.
PIC 7
Otomo and her father running. He’s trucking but he’s looking awful. Otomo isn’t even sweating.
OTOMO KURAMI YOU AREN’T EVEN CLOSE TO DONE YET OLD MAN.
PIC 8
He stops but she doesn’t notice.
OTOMO KURAMI HARD WORK IS WHAT MAKES A CHAMPION. THAT’S WHAT YOU TOLD ME. THAT’S WHAT YOU SHOWED THE WORLD.
PIC 9
She turns around and he’s vomiting.
OTOMO KURAMI DAMN IT! YOU ARE SHAMING YOUR LEGACY.
PAGE 10
PIC 1
He’s heaving on the side and he looks grey, but he’s looking at Otomo with fierce eye’s.
ODA KUMA KURAMI YOU ARE THE ONLY LEGACY THAT I CARE ABOUT.
PIC 2
Otomo pretends she didn’t hear it and waves at him to follow her. The camera is behind her father as if it’s looking at her back. She’s waving without looking at him.
OTOMO KURAMI LET’S GET SOME NOODLES.
PAGE 11
The next scene is those two sitting at a noodle shop. There are two big bowls of noodles in front of her and a small plate of radishes in front of him.
OTOMO KURAMI GO ON OLD MAN EAT UP.
PIC 1
He’s studying a radish as if it’s from another planet.
FATHER YOU ARE SO CRUEL.
OTOMO KURAMI THANK YOU. YOUR DISCOMFORT PLEASES ME.
ODA KUMA KURAMI I’M HAPPY YOU ARE THE ONE DOING THIS.
PIC 2
He’s looking at her noodles with the savage hunger of a caged tiger.
ODA KUMA KURAMI IT’S TOO BAD ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED WITH YOUR NOODLES.
PIC 6
She notices too late as his out of shape hands move and swipe her extra bowl.
OTOMO KURAMI WHA-
ODA KUMA KURAMI NOODLES! MUST HAVE!
PIC 3
He already has half of the ramen in his mouth.
OTOMO KURAMI DAMN! I FORGOT HOW FAST YOU WERE.
PIC 4
She downs the rest of her noodles.
PIC 5
She stands and smiles.
OTOMO KURAMI LOOKS LIKE YOU HAVE CHOSEN YOUR PATH. ONCE YOU HAVE FINISHED THE NOODLES I WILL UNLEASH THE FURY OF A THOUSAND HELLS!
PIC 6
He looks shocked as he finishes the last noodle.
ODA KUMA KURAMI NOT THE FURY OF A THOUSAND HELLS!
OTOMO KURAMI YES SUFFERING IS COMING I HOPE YOU ARE PREPARED.
PAGE 12
PIC 1
This is a splash page montage shot. This time he’s looking trimmer and more in shape. He’s doing sit ups, push ups, running, working the pads, and lifting weights. Otomo is smiling now. She’s satisfied and seeing him come together.
CAPTION WEEK 2
ODA KUMA KURAMI 99…100
OTOMO KURAMI KEEP PUSHING OLD MAN, KEEP PUSHING.
PAGE 13
CAPTION WEEK 3
PIC 1
This is also a splash page with him doing harder work out routines. Like one handed push ups, crunches with a medicine ball being dropped on his stomach by Otomo, when he’s running Otomo is pressed to keep up. Pad work is fast, blurred hands and exaggerated movement with the pads being knocked back.
ODA KUMA KUMARI 999…1000
CAPTION HE’S FINDING HIMSELF, WHERE THERE WAS DOUBT WEEKS AGO THERE IS NONE NOW. HIS RING NAME USED TO BE KUMA KURAMI. HIS FEROCITY IN THE RING WAS UNMATCHED AND HIS WILL TO CONTINUE DESPITE THE ODDS RAISED THAT SPECIAL SOMETHING FANS LOVED TO SEE. PEOPLE USED TO CHANT HIS NAME BEFORE AN EVENT LIKE THEY WERE SUMMONING THEIR HERO. I’M STARTING TO SEE THE MAN HE GAVE UP TO BE MY FATHER AND THE ONE WHO IS SHAMED IS ME.
PAGE 14
PIC 1
This is a picture of Kuma cut and ripped. He’s looking at himself in the mirror. Otomo is looking on. She’s a little prideful.
ODA KUMA KURAMI YOU ARE A SLAVE DRIVER, BUT YOU DO GOOD WORK.
OTOMO KURAMI WE’RE NOT DONE YET. YOU HAVEN’T EVEN SPARRED WITH ANYONE YET. I ARRANGED A MATCH WITH THE LOCAL MMA CLUB.
PIC 2
He smiles. His eyebrow is arched. He’s holding his wrapped clenched fist and he looks confident.
ODA KUMA KURAMI WHO AM I FIGHTING?
OTOMO KURAMI IT’S A SURPRISE.
PIC 3
It’s a close up of Kuma’s face. He’s shaking his head.
PIC 4
He walks over and kisses her forehead.
ODA KUMA KURAMI WHAT WOULD I DO WITHOUT OUT YOU?
OTOMO KURAMI SUFFER A HUMILIATING DEFEAT THAT WOULD SHAME EVERY ANCESTOR IN OUR FAMILIES LINEAGE.
PIC 5
She looks up at him and he messes up her hair.
CAPTION WHEN I WAS YOUNG I SAW MY FATHER THE CHAMPION. WHEN HE QUIT I SAW MY FATHER THE HAS BEEN. I THINK I FINALLY SEE HIM FOR THE MAN HE IS.
PIC 6
She hugs him. And he hugs her back.
OTOMO KURAMI YOU STINK.
ODA KUMA KURAMI I’M SORRY.
OTOMO KURAMI S’OKAY.
PAGE 15
PIC 1
It’s a picture of the front of a low rent dojo. It says
Tenshin’s MMA. With a bunch of kanji along the side. Otomo and
Kuma are standing in front of it with a gear bag.
ODA KUMA KURAMI YOU BRING ME TO THE NICEST PLACES
OTOMO KURAMI WILL YOU SHUT UP.
PIC 2
The door opens and about ten young ripped fighters are warming
up. They are doing various stretches, hindu squats, and a couple
are jump roping.
ODA KUMA KURAMI SO WHICH ONE AM I FIGHTING?
PIC 3
A very happy elderly individual runs up to shake Otomo’s hand.
TENSHIN TOMI! SO GOOD TO SEE YOU. IS THIS YOUR FATHER? I HAD NO IDEA YOUR DAD WAS THE KUMA KURAMI.
OTOMO KURAMI YEAH, I DIDN’T WANT TO SPREAD IT AROUND TOO MUCH. ANYWAY LET’S GET STARTED.
PIC 4
Tenshin comes over and shakes Kuma’s hand.
TENSHIN I’VE SEEN ALL OF YOUR FIGHTS AND THEY WERE VERY IMPRESSIVE.
ODA KUMA KUMARI SO HOW DO YOU KNOW MY DAUGHTER?
TENSHIN SHE WAS MY FIRST STUDENT WHEN I OPENED UP SHOP. TAUGHT ME A FEW TRICKS AS WELL.
PIC 5
It’s a close up of Tenshin’s face and he has a very wily/cunning/sinister look on his face.
TENSHIN I WAS THINKING THE BEST WAY TO GET YOU BACK TO TOP NOTCH WOULD BE A QUICK RUN THROUGH THE GRINDER. WE START YOU OFF EASY THEN MOVE YOU UP FOR THE MORE EXPIERIENCED FIGHTER. THAT WAY YOU’RE WRECKED BY THE TIME YOU GET TO THEM AND THE ONLY THING YOU CAN RELY ON IS TECHNIQUE.
PIC 6
It’s a shocked Kuma as he looks at everybody in the room.
Tenshin’s arm is around Kuma’s neck
ODA KUMA KUMARI SO I’M TO FIGHT ALL OF THEM?
TENSHIN ALL OF MY STUDENTS, YES.
ODA KUMA KUMARI THANK YOU FOR YOUR GENEROSITY.
PAGE 16
PIC 1
It’s Kuma and the first guy. He’s about eighteen years old and
he’s super tense. Not a great deal of experience but a lot of
guts. They are in a ring filled with mats. Ropes are around them
and it’s on the ground.
PIC 2
The first guy throws a wide jab.
PIC 3
This picture is an action shot that should take up the rest of
the page. Kuma ducks it and gets behind him, locking his arms
around his waist, performing a German suplex. The guy hits the
ground hard.
PIC 4
It’s Kuma standing over him ready to go again. The guy is
unconscious.
PIC 5
It’s Kuma scratching his head and bowing, he’s a little shocked
that it went so fast.
ODA KUMA KUMORI AHH SORRY I DIDN’T MEAN TO TAKE IT SO HARD ON YOU. THANK YOU FOR YOUR HARD WORK.
PIC 6
It’s a picture of Otomo stretching in the corner facing
everybody. She’s smiling.
CAPTION THERE HE IS. THE MAN WHO WAS KNOWN AS THE BEAR. DAD HAS A GOOD STAND UP GAME AND A DAMN GOOD GROUND GAME. YOU WOULDN’T GUESS IT BUT WHEN DAD WAS A KID HE WAS A WIMP. GRANDPA TRAVELED A LOT AND TOOK DAD WITH HIM TO KEEP HIM FROM GETTING PICKED ON FOR HIS SIZE. HE SPENT YEARS OF HIS YOUTH LEARNING THE INS AND OUT OF CATCH WRESTLING. ON TOP OF THAT HE SPENT FIVE HARD YEARS LEARNING MEXICAN BOXING AND ANOTHER FIVE LEARNING MUAI THAI. HE THEN SPENT FIVE YEARS LEARNING THE INS AND OUTS OF JUJITSU.
PAGE 17
This page is nine panels or one pic of nine separate shots of
Kuma performing nine different grappling and
striking maneuvers.
PIC 1
Kuma dodging a straight and performing a crushing uppercut to
the other mans jaw.
PIC 2
Arm bar submission.
PIC 3
Leg bar submission.
PIC 4
Ground and pound.
PIC 5
Flying knee to guys jaw.
PIC 6
Elbow to mans temple.
PIC 7
Rear naked choke with hooks in.
PIC 8
Muai thai kick to mans head. Shin to side of jaw.
PIC 9
Dirty boxing. Straight.
PAGE 18
PIC 1
Kuma is standing sweating and bowing to the owner and the
various students laid out with ice on their jaws and heads.
ODA KUMA KUMARI THANK YOU VERY MUCH, YOUR HELP HAS BEEN GREATLY APPRECIATED.
TENSHIN NO PROBLEM MY STUDENTS LEARNED A GREAT DEAL FROM YOUR INSTRUCTION.
ODA KUMA KUMORI MY COMING VICTORY WILL BE ALL BECAUSE OF YOU.
PIC 2
Kuma is still bowing and now standing behind him is Otomo. She’s
wearing gloves and has her hair under a bandanna.
TENSHIN ALTHOUGH YOU STILL HAVE YET TO FIGHT MY BEST STUDENT.
ODA KUMA KUMARI WHO IS THAT?
PIC 3
She taps him on the shoulder and he turns his head to look at
her.
OTOMO KUMARI ME.
PIC 4
He’s stroking his chin as he examines her.
ODA KUMA KUMARI SO THIS IS WHAT YOU WANTED ALL ALONG? YOU WANTED A PIECE OF YOUR OLD MAN.
OTOMO KURAMI I DON’T WANT A PIECE. I WANT THE WHOLE TAMALE.
PIC 5
Kuma is now smiling sinisterly as he walks toward his corner of
the mat.
ODA KUMA KUMARI OK, BUT I’M NOT GOING TO HOLD BACK.
PIC 6
Otomo smiles sinisterly as she steps onto her side of the mat.
OTOMO KURAMI BETTER WATCH OUT DAD, YOU DON’T WANT TO UNDERESTIMATE ME.
PAGE 19
PIC 1
They circle each other. Looking for each others weakness.
CAPTION HE’S LOOKING FOR A WEAKNESS BUT I DON’T SHOW HIM ANY. HE’S GOT ME BY A HUNDRED POUNDS AND HE’S BASICALLY ALL MUSCLE. THE ONLY REAL HOPE I HAVE IS TO SURPRISE HIM. EVEN THEN I HAVE ABOUT A TEN PERCENT CHANCE OF BEATING HIM. HE’S TOUGHER THAN HE LOOKS AND HE LOOKS GODDAMN SCARY.
PIC 2
She swings and he dodges easily slipping in for the suplex.
CAPTION HE’S LOOKING TO END THIS FAST.
PIC 3
She lowers her stance and grabs his leg pulling upward.
CAPTION SORRY DAD. I’M NO SPRING CHICKEN.
PIC 4
He’s taken by surprise and falls. She’s moving to perform a leg
bar.
CAPTION ALL I NEED TO DO NOW IS CINCH THE LEG BAR AND…
PIC 5
Before she can perform it though he rolls forward and gets into
mount.
CAPTION DAMN IT.
PIC 6
He goes to ground and pound, but she pulls his head close.
CAPTION I’M NO PUNK DAD. TIME FOR A LITLE REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY.
PIC 7
She slips one leg out.
CAPTION I’M HOLDING HIS HEAD DOWN SO HE WANTS TO PULL HIS HEAD BACK.
PIC 8
Then the other.
CAPTION I’M MOVING MY LEGS OUT SO I CAN TRANSITION INTO MY NEXT PLAN OF ATTACK.
PIC 9
She wraps them around his waist.
CAPTION NOW I CAN CTAY HERE ALL I WANT OR…
PAGE 20
PIC 1
He pulls his head free and she shifts to his back.
CAPTION I CAN GO FOR A BETTER POSITION.
PIC 2
She digs her hooks in and starts to choke him around the neck.
CAPTION I DIG MY CLAWS IN AND PUT HIM IN A BLOOD CHOKE. MOST PEOPLE HAVE ABOUT FIVE TO FIFTEEN SECONDS BEFORE THEY PASS OUT.
PIC 3
It’s a close up of her teeth bared.
CAPTION COME ON TAP!
PIC 4
It’s her father smiling as he shifts her right arm to so his
neck is instead in the crook of her elbow.
CAPTION SHIT.
PIC 5
He then, still on his hands and knees, frees her right hook from
his waist.
CAPTION SHIT!
PIC 6
He then tosses her down hard.
CAPTION OUCH!
Page 21
PIC 1
He moves to finish it with an arm bar.
CAPTION AN ARM BAR? GOTTA MOVE QUICK.
PIC 2
She grabs onto her own hand in hopes of keeping the arm bar from
occurring. She’s pulling hard.
CAPTION COME ON!
PIC 3
He smiles again as he peels her hand.
CAPTION DAMN.
PIC 4
He arches and she taps.
CAPTION OUCH!
PIC 5
He lets go.
CAPTION DAMN IT!
PIC 6
He stands up.
CAPTION HE’S STILL GOT IT.
PAGE 22
PIC 1
It’s a picture of her still on the ground breathing hard. She’s
smiling obviously pleased.
OTOMO KURAMI YOUR NICKNAME STILL APPLIES FATHER.
PIC 2
His hand appears offering her a way up.
PIC 3
She’s now on her feet and examining him.
ODA KUMA KUMARI NICE MOVES KID.
OTOMO KUMARI STILL NOT AS GOOD AS YOU OLD MAN.
ODA KUMA KUMARI MAYBE BUT THE ONE THING US OLD GUYS FEAR IS THE YOUNGER CROWD. WE HAVE EXPIERIENCE BUT THEY HAVE THE HUNGER.
PIC 4
He puts his arm around her shoulders as they start to walk out
of the gym.
ODA KUMA KUMARI YOUR TRANSITIONS WERE FLAWLESS OUT THERE. YOU HAVE TRULY WORKED HARD TO GET WHERE YOU ARE AND I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE PROUD.
OTOMO KUMARI YEAH, BUT I’M STILL NOT WHERE I WANT TO BE.
ODA KUMA KUMARI THAT IS A SIGN OF A TRUE WARRIOR. EVEN WHEN YOU ARE THE BEST, THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE BETTER AND THE ONLY PERSON YOU SHOULD BE LOOKING TO BEAT IS YOURSELF.
PIC 5
Tenshin says something and they turn around.
TENSHIN HEY CHAMP. ONE THING BEFORE YOU GO.
PIC 6
The entire gym is bowing to them. Kuma has his hand on the back
of his head in a nervous gesture.
CROWD COME SEE US AGAIN! WE LEARNED SO MUCH! THANK YOU!
END.
The Search for the Title
PAGE 1
PIC 1
Establishing shot- Rooftop in Japans Osakan district, night time, the light of a neon sign illuminates the rooftop.
CAPTIONS OSAKA JAPAN
CAPTIONS “MY NAME IS KURAMI, OTOMO. TOMI FOR SHORT.
PIC 2
Main character is leaning against a fence, blood trickling from her mouth. Wild hair, and narrowed eyes, slightly flared nose. Style of dress is up to you but please keep it in theme with Japanese punk and also it should emphasize movement. Sneakers probably. The neon light splashes her face.
OTOMO KURAMI MY HOBBIES INCLUDES READING, RACING, PARKOUR, PAINTING, AND DANCING. MY FAVORITE MOVIE IS KILL BILL.
PIC 3
A group of other punker parkour girls are on the other side with various blunt and sharp objects. About 5 total. Have fun with this part. Wild hair back lit from behind with the neon sign.
CAPTIONS I GUESS IF I HAD TO DESCRIBE MYSELF IN ONE WORD IT WOULD BE… ATTITUDE.
PIC 4
Tomi lifts her hands to block her face, fists loose, elbows spread wide, hips square lowered position. This should be the stance she takes whenever action is about to happen. The calm before the storm if you will. She spits blood on the ground contemptuously.
CAPTIONS OH, I ALSO THINK I SHOULD MENTION THAT I LIKE FIGHTING.
PAGE 2
PIC 1
CAPTIONS A LOT
She throws out a low side kick to the first girls shin. The other girls are slightly shocked eyes should be wide, but not too wide. Mouths a little open.
PIC 2
Tomi closer now fires an elbow to the first ones jaw. A tooth goes flying along with blood.
PIC 3
First Girl drops unconscious, eyes roll back, the other girls warily ready their weapons.
PIC 4
They charge swinging and lunging. Tomi blocks a boken with her shin, it breaks, her face isn’t even pained. She simultaneously evades a knife thrust from behind.
CAPTIONS I LEARNED HOW TO LOVE FIGHTING FROM MY DAD
PIC 5
She knees boken girl with her other knee shattering her face.
CAPTIONS HE WAS ONCE UNDEFEATED IN MIXED MARTIAL ARTS COMPETETIONS. UNTIL MOM DIED.
PIC 6
Knife girl recovers from her lunge and along with the last girl they flank Tomi. She watches them carefully one has a taser.
CAPTIONS HE RETIRED AFTER THAT
PAGE 3
PIC 1
The taser girl lunges forward, but her wrist is grabbed by Tomi and dislocated with an audible Pop!.
CAPTIONS SOME FANS NEVER FORGAVE HIM AFTER THAT. I’M ONE OF THEM
PIC 2
The motion for the lunge continues until the taser is met with the body of the knife girl.
CAPTIONS YOU MAY THINK I’M JUST REBELLING AGAINST MY FATHER AND SEE IT AS JUST A PHASE, BUT I DON’T.
PIC 3
Knife girl drops. Taser girl is struck in the face with a headbutt from Tomi.
CAPTIONS HE DOESN’T EITHER, HE UNDERSTANDS WHY I FEEL BETRAYED. HE DOESN’T SEE IT AS REBELLION. HE LOOKS AT ME AND SEES HIS YOUTH.
PIC 4
Taser girl falls and its just Tomi standing.
CAPTIONS “SIGH “ JUST SO YOU KNOW THESE GIRLS HAD IT COMING.
PIC 5
Tomi spray painting on the roof top. Big letters. Losers! With an arrow pointing to the defeated.
CAPTIONS THEY CALLED MY DAD A COWARD. NOBODY CALLS HIM THAT.
PAGE 4
PIC 1
Big panel splash page. Rooftop with Tomi standing on top of it backlit by neon, the concrete is covered in graphitti. In big letters T.K.O.! Search for the title.
PAGE 5
PIC 1
Tomi jumping off the edge of the roof, and onto another roof, and then onto another roof.
PIC 2
Her landing in crouched position facing the “camera” staring forward in concentration. Sweat should be visible.
PIC 3
She checks her watch.
CAPTIONS SHIT! I’M LATE.
PIC 4
She takes off into the night.
OTOMO KURAMI DAD IS GOING TO BE PISSED. I’L PROBABLY HAVE TO DO PUSH UPS UNTIL MY ARMS FALL OFF.
PIC 5
She’s by her car, the tires are slashed and the windows are
smashed in she’s visibly distressed.
PIC 6
She screams “Cockbags!” and kicks her car, causing a dent.
CAPTIONS COCKBAGS!
PAGE 6
PIC 1
She walks into a ratty spiraling apartment building. People sleeping outside women standing on a corner. Garbage everywhere. The building is tagged too.
A drunk by the door says
DRUNK HEY TOMI YOU OLD ENOUGH TO GO OUT WITH ME YET?
OTOMO KURAMI DIE IN A FIRE.
PIC 2
She walks to the elevator and the door opens.
PIC 3
Two men dressed in wild osakan Yakuza suits and hair with sunglasses walk out. Tomi ignores them as they walk past. They make a comment about her, but she doesn’t say anything back.
CAPTIONS YAKUZA RUN THIS LITTLE SECTION OF OSAKA AND THOUGH I WOULD LOVE TO SAY SOMETHING WITTY AND CRASS AND MAYBE BUST SOME HEADS, I GOTTA PLAY IT COOL TO AVOID PAYBACK. IT WOULD BE BAD FOR BOTH ME AND DAD OTHERWISE.
PIC 4
Elevator closes.
PIC 5
This door unlike the other doors in this complex is made of steel, she knocks loudly
SOUND EFFECT CLANG, CLANG, CLANG .
PIC 6
The door opens and her father, a short barreled chested, mustached, man dressed in a Hawaiian shirt with a wife beater underneath. A pair of boxers on, with sandals.
CAPTION MY FATHER THE HERO.
PAGE 7
PIC 1
He smiles at her with deep laugh lines as she walks passed
ODA KUMA KUMARI TOMI YOU LOOK RIDICULOUS.
OTOMO KURAMI I LOOK RIDICULOUS? LOOK AT YOURSELF! YOU LOOK LIKE A STUNT COCK FOR MAGNUM P.I.
PIC 2
The apartment is very Spartan with one corner dedicated to training equipment, a table with two chairs in the kitchen , an old CD player and a laptop. He smiles wider.
ODA KUMA KUMARI YOUR WIT IS STILL AS SHARP AS A SWORD. WILL THE PRINCESS BE DINING WITH ME TODAY?
OTOMO KURAMI THE PRINCESS WILL. WE DEMAND BEEF AND PEPPERS. AND INSISTS YOU PUT YOUR PANTS ON. YOU LOOK LIKE A PACHINKO BUDDHA.
PIC 3
They sit at the table and between them they lock eyes.
CAPTION HE DIDN’T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT ME BEING LATE AND HE’S IN A GOOD MOOD EVEN THOUGH I BACK TALKED HIM. NO THERE’S MORE TO IT. WHAT’S GOING ON HERE?
PIC 4
Focuses on her father as he stares his daughter down, a half smile creeping onto his face.
CAPTION OH MY GOD! HE’S GOING TO FIGHT! I CAN SEE IT NOW. THAT’S WHY HE DIDN’T MIND ME BEING LATE.
PIC 5
She points at him and screams
OTOMO KURAMI YOU’RE GOING TO FIGHT AREN’T YOU!
PIC 6
He says with his head cocked
ODA KUMA KUMARI HOW’D YOU KNOW?
OTOMO KURAMI I KNOW YOU, YOU’VE BEEN IN A FUNK FOR A LONG TIME AND THE ONLY TIME YOU LET ME GET AWAY WITH TALKING BACK WAS WHEN THERE WAS A FIGHT COMING UP.
PAGE 8
PIC 1
Shes by him now hugging him from behind. Looking forward as he does too. Neither meet eyes.
OTOMO KURAMI WHENS THE FIGHT?
ODA KUMA KUMARI A MONTH FROM NOW.
PIC 2
It’s a close u of Tomi’s face she’s looking side ways at her fathers face and she has a skeptical look on her face.
OTOMO KURAMI YOU CAN’T GET INTO PEAK IN A MONTH, THAT’S TOO SHORT OF NOTICE.
PIC 3
It’s a close up of her fathers face. His face is determined and he’s looking straight ahead.
ODA KUMA KUMARI I CAN AND I WILL
PIC 4
It’s back to both of them staring forward.
OTOMO KURAMI WHAT WEIGHT CLASS?
ODA KUMA KUMARI NO WEIGHT CLASS IN THIS BOUT KIDDO.
PIC 5
She spins his chair to face her and looks him in the eye. He’s a little heartbroken to hear the words she’s saying.
OTOMO KURAMI DAD I’M JUST GOING TO SAY THIS ONCE. I LOVE YOU AND I’M GLAD YOU’RE FIGHTING AGAIN, BUT YOU’RE 38 YEARS OLD; YOU’RE OUT OF YOUR PRIME, OUT OF SHAPE, OUT OF PRACTICE, ANY OTHER PERSON WOULDN’T EVEN BE CONSIDERING THIS MATCH.
PIC 6
He looks hopeful and starts to smile.
OTOMO KURAMI BUT I KNOW IF THERE’S ANYBODY ALIVE THAT CAN DO IT, IT’S YOU.
ODA KUMA KURAMI THANK’S TOMI
OTOMO KURAMI DON’T THANK ME YET YOU’RE ABOUT TO GO THROUGH THE WORST HELL OF YOUR LIFE.
PAGE 9
PIC 1
It’s the start of a montage. These series of breaks are based entirely around the Otomo and her father working out. This first panel is Her father doing push ups, he’s sweating horribly. I get an image of Her dad doing pushups and the camera is right in his face, with Otomo’s feet directly to the sides in the peripheral of the camera. His voice is shaky here.
ODA KUMA KURAMI 9… 10…
OTOMO KURAMI LAME. YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE ONE DOING ALL OF THOSE PUSH UPS.
WEEK 1
PIC 2
He’s doing sit ups.
ODA KUMA KURAMI 9… 10…
OTOMO KURAMI PATHETIC. YOU’RE BETTER THAN THIS OLD TIMER. YOU GOING TO LET SOME YOUNG PUNK TAKE YOU DOWN?
PIC 3
He’s doing hand drills with the big red mitts. He’s sweating profusely and he looks like he’s going to pass out. He’s throwing a jab.
OTOMO KURAMI ONE…
PIC 4
He’s throwing a straight.
OTOMO KURAMI TWO…
PIC 5
He doesn’t move and gets struck in the head by the mitt.
OTOMO KURAMI DUCK…
PIC 6
She throws the mitts on the ground in frustration.
OTOMO KURAMI PATHETIC. THAT’S IT. ROAD WORK.
PIC 7
Otomo and her father running. He’s trucking but he’s looking awful. Otomo isn’t even sweating.
OTOMO KURAMI YOU AREN’T EVEN CLOSE TO DONE YET OLD MAN.
PIC 8
He stops but she doesn’t notice.
OTOMO KURAMI HARD WORK IS WHAT MAKES A CHAMPION. THAT’S WHAT YOU TOLD ME. THAT’S WHAT YOU SHOWED THE WORLD.
PIC 9
She turns around and he’s vomiting.
OTOMO KURAMI DAMN IT! YOU ARE SHAMING YOUR LEGACY.
PAGE 10
PIC 1
He’s heaving on the side and he looks grey, but he’s looking at Otomo with fierce eye’s.
ODA KUMA KURAMI YOU ARE THE ONLY LEGACY THAT I CARE ABOUT.
PIC 2
Otomo pretends she didn’t hear it and waves at him to follow her. The camera is behind her father as if it’s looking at her back. She’s waving without looking at him.
OTOMO KURAMI LET’S GET SOME NOODLES.
PAGE 11
The next scene is those two sitting at a noodle shop. There are two big bowls of noodles in front of her and a small plate of radishes in front of him.
OTOMO KURAMI GO ON OLD MAN EAT UP.
PIC 1
He’s studying a radish as if it’s from another planet.
FATHER YOU ARE SO CRUEL.
OTOMO KURAMI THANK YOU. YOUR DISCOMFORT PLEASES ME.
ODA KUMA KURAMI I’M HAPPY YOU ARE THE ONE DOING THIS.
PIC 2
He’s looking at her noodles with the savage hunger of a caged tiger.
ODA KUMA KURAMI IT’S TOO BAD ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED WITH YOUR NOODLES.
PIC 6
She notices too late as his out of shape hands move and swipe her extra bowl.
OTOMO KURAMI WHA-
ODA KUMA KURAMI NOODLES! MUST HAVE!
PIC 3
He already has half of the ramen in his mouth.
OTOMO KURAMI DAMN! I FORGOT HOW FAST YOU WERE.
PIC 4
She downs the rest of her noodles.
PIC 5
She stands and smiles.
OTOMO KURAMI LOOKS LIKE YOU HAVE CHOSEN YOUR PATH. ONCE YOU HAVE FINISHED THE NOODLES I WILL UNLEASH THE FURY OF A THOUSAND HELLS!
PIC 6
He looks shocked as he finishes the last noodle.
ODA KUMA KURAMI NOT THE FURY OF A THOUSAND HELLS!
OTOMO KURAMI YES SUFFERING IS COMING I HOPE YOU ARE PREPARED.
PAGE 12
PIC 1
This is a splash page montage shot. This time he’s looking trimmer and more in shape. He’s doing sit ups, push ups, running, working the pads, and lifting weights. Otomo is smiling now. She’s satisfied and seeing him come together.
CAPTION WEEK 2
ODA KUMA KURAMI 99…100
OTOMO KURAMI KEEP PUSHING OLD MAN, KEEP PUSHING.
PAGE 13
CAPTION WEEK 3
PIC 1
This is also a splash page with him doing harder work out routines. Like one handed push ups, crunches with a medicine ball being dropped on his stomach by Otomo, when he’s running Otomo is pressed to keep up. Pad work is fast, blurred hands and exaggerated movement with the pads being knocked back.
ODA KUMA KUMARI 999…1000
CAPTION HE’S FINDING HIMSELF, WHERE THERE WAS DOUBT WEEKS AGO THERE IS NONE NOW. HIS RING NAME USED TO BE KUMA KURAMI. HIS FEROCITY IN THE RING WAS UNMATCHED AND HIS WILL TO CONTINUE DESPITE THE ODDS RAISED THAT SPECIAL SOMETHING FANS LOVED TO SEE. PEOPLE USED TO CHANT HIS NAME BEFORE AN EVENT LIKE THEY WERE SUMMONING THEIR HERO. I’M STARTING TO SEE THE MAN HE GAVE UP TO BE MY FATHER AND THE ONE WHO IS SHAMED IS ME.
PAGE 14
PIC 1
This is a picture of Kuma cut and ripped. He’s looking at himself in the mirror. Otomo is looking on. She’s a little prideful.
ODA KUMA KURAMI YOU ARE A SLAVE DRIVER, BUT YOU DO GOOD WORK.
OTOMO KURAMI WE’RE NOT DONE YET. YOU HAVEN’T EVEN SPARRED WITH ANYONE YET. I ARRANGED A MATCH WITH THE LOCAL MMA CLUB.
PIC 2
He smiles. His eyebrow is arched. He’s holding his wrapped clenched fist and he looks confident.
ODA KUMA KURAMI WHO AM I FIGHTING?
OTOMO KURAMI IT’S A SURPRISE.
PIC 3
It’s a close up of Kuma’s face. He’s shaking his head.
PIC 4
He walks over and kisses her forehead.
ODA KUMA KURAMI WHAT WOULD I DO WITHOUT OUT YOU?
OTOMO KURAMI SUFFER A HUMILIATING DEFEAT THAT WOULD SHAME EVERY ANCESTOR IN OUR FAMILIES LINEAGE.
PIC 5
She looks up at him and he messes up her hair.
CAPTION WHEN I WAS YOUNG I SAW MY FATHER THE CHAMPION. WHEN HE QUIT I SAW MY FATHER THE HAS BEEN. I THINK I FINALLY SEE HIM FOR THE MAN HE IS.
PIC 6
She hugs him. And he hugs her back.
OTOMO KURAMI YOU STINK.
ODA KUMA KURAMI I’M SORRY.
OTOMO KURAMI S’OKAY.
PAGE 15
PIC 1
It’s a picture of the front of a low rent dojo. It says
Tenshin’s MMA. With a bunch of kanji along the side. Otomo and
Kuma are standing in front of it with a gear bag.
ODA KUMA KURAMI YOU BRING ME TO THE NICEST PLACES
OTOMO KURAMI WILL YOU SHUT UP.
PIC 2
The door opens and about ten young ripped fighters are warming
up. They are doing various stretches, hindu squats, and a couple
are jump roping.
ODA KUMA KURAMI SO WHICH ONE AM I FIGHTING?
PIC 3
A very happy elderly individual runs up to shake Otomo’s hand.
TENSHIN TOMI! SO GOOD TO SEE YOU. IS THIS YOUR FATHER? I HAD NO IDEA YOUR DAD WAS THE KUMA KURAMI.
OTOMO KURAMI YEAH, I DIDN’T WANT TO SPREAD IT AROUND TOO MUCH. ANYWAY LET’S GET STARTED.
PIC 4
Tenshin comes over and shakes Kuma’s hand.
TENSHIN I’VE SEEN ALL OF YOUR FIGHTS AND THEY WERE VERY IMPRESSIVE.
ODA KUMA KUMARI SO HOW DO YOU KNOW MY DAUGHTER?
TENSHIN SHE WAS MY FIRST STUDENT WHEN I OPENED UP SHOP. TAUGHT ME A FEW TRICKS AS WELL.
PIC 5
It’s a close up of Tenshin’s face and he has a very wily/cunning/sinister look on his face.
TENSHIN I WAS THINKING THE BEST WAY TO GET YOU BACK TO TOP NOTCH WOULD BE A QUICK RUN THROUGH THE GRINDER. WE START YOU OFF EASY THEN MOVE YOU UP FOR THE MORE EXPIERIENCED FIGHTER. THAT WAY YOU’RE WRECKED BY THE TIME YOU GET TO THEM AND THE ONLY THING YOU CAN RELY ON IS TECHNIQUE.
PIC 6
It’s a shocked Kuma as he looks at everybody in the room.
Tenshin’s arm is around Kuma’s neck
ODA KUMA KUMARI SO I’M TO FIGHT ALL OF THEM?
TENSHIN ALL OF MY STUDENTS, YES.
ODA KUMA KUMARI THANK YOU FOR YOUR GENEROSITY.
PAGE 16
PIC 1
It’s Kuma and the first guy. He’s about eighteen years old and
he’s super tense. Not a great deal of experience but a lot of
guts. They are in a ring filled with mats. Ropes are around them
and it’s on the ground.
PIC 2
The first guy throws a wide jab.
PIC 3
This picture is an action shot that should take up the rest of
the page. Kuma ducks it and gets behind him, locking his arms
around his waist, performing a German suplex. The guy hits the
ground hard.
PIC 4
It’s Kuma standing over him ready to go again. The guy is
unconscious.
PIC 5
It’s Kuma scratching his head and bowing, he’s a little shocked
that it went so fast.
ODA KUMA KUMORI AHH SORRY I DIDN’T MEAN TO TAKE IT SO HARD ON YOU. THANK YOU FOR YOUR HARD WORK.
PIC 6
It’s a picture of Otomo stretching in the corner facing
everybody. She’s smiling.
CAPTION THERE HE IS. THE MAN WHO WAS KNOWN AS THE BEAR. DAD HAS A GOOD STAND UP GAME AND A DAMN GOOD GROUND GAME. YOU WOULDN’T GUESS IT BUT WHEN DAD WAS A KID HE WAS A WIMP. GRANDPA TRAVELED A LOT AND TOOK DAD WITH HIM TO KEEP HIM FROM GETTING PICKED ON FOR HIS SIZE. HE SPENT YEARS OF HIS YOUTH LEARNING THE INS AND OUT OF CATCH WRESTLING. ON TOP OF THAT HE SPENT FIVE HARD YEARS LEARNING MEXICAN BOXING AND ANOTHER FIVE LEARNING MUAI THAI. HE THEN SPENT FIVE YEARS LEARNING THE INS AND OUTS OF JUJITSU.
PAGE 17
This page is nine panels or one pic of nine separate shots of
Kuma performing nine different grappling and
striking maneuvers.
PIC 1
Kuma dodging a straight and performing a crushing uppercut to
the other mans jaw.
PIC 2
Arm bar submission.
PIC 3
Leg bar submission.
PIC 4
Ground and pound.
PIC 5
Flying knee to guys jaw.
PIC 6
Elbow to mans temple.
PIC 7
Rear naked choke with hooks in.
PIC 8
Muai thai kick to mans head. Shin to side of jaw.
PIC 9
Dirty boxing. Straight.
PAGE 18
PIC 1
Kuma is standing sweating and bowing to the owner and the
various students laid out with ice on their jaws and heads.
ODA KUMA KUMARI THANK YOU VERY MUCH, YOUR HELP HAS BEEN GREATLY APPRECIATED.
TENSHIN NO PROBLEM MY STUDENTS LEARNED A GREAT DEAL FROM YOUR INSTRUCTION.
ODA KUMA KUMORI MY COMING VICTORY WILL BE ALL BECAUSE OF YOU.
PIC 2
Kuma is still bowing and now standing behind him is Otomo. She’s
wearing gloves and has her hair under a bandanna.
TENSHIN ALTHOUGH YOU STILL HAVE YET TO FIGHT MY BEST STUDENT.
ODA KUMA KUMARI WHO IS THAT?
PIC 3
She taps him on the shoulder and he turns his head to look at
her.
OTOMO KUMARI ME.
PIC 4
He’s stroking his chin as he examines her.
ODA KUMA KUMARI SO THIS IS WHAT YOU WANTED ALL ALONG? YOU WANTED A PIECE OF YOUR OLD MAN.
OTOMO KURAMI I DON’T WANT A PIECE. I WANT THE WHOLE TAMALE.
PIC 5
Kuma is now smiling sinisterly as he walks toward his corner of
the mat.
ODA KUMA KUMARI OK, BUT I’M NOT GOING TO HOLD BACK.
PIC 6
Otomo smiles sinisterly as she steps onto her side of the mat.
OTOMO KURAMI BETTER WATCH OUT DAD, YOU DON’T WANT TO UNDERESTIMATE ME.
PAGE 19
PIC 1
They circle each other. Looking for each others weakness.
CAPTION HE’S LOOKING FOR A WEAKNESS BUT I DON’T SHOW HIM ANY. HE’S GOT ME BY A HUNDRED POUNDS AND HE’S BASICALLY ALL MUSCLE. THE ONLY REAL HOPE I HAVE IS TO SURPRISE HIM. EVEN THEN I HAVE ABOUT A TEN PERCENT CHANCE OF BEATING HIM. HE’S TOUGHER THAN HE LOOKS AND HE LOOKS GODDAMN SCARY.
PIC 2
She swings and he dodges easily slipping in for the suplex.
CAPTION HE’S LOOKING TO END THIS FAST.
PIC 3
She lowers her stance and grabs his leg pulling upward.
CAPTION SORRY DAD. I’M NO SPRING CHICKEN.
PIC 4
He’s taken by surprise and falls. She’s moving to perform a leg
bar.
CAPTION ALL I NEED TO DO NOW IS CINCH THE LEG BAR AND…
PIC 5
Before she can perform it though he rolls forward and gets into
mount.
CAPTION DAMN IT.
PIC 6
He goes to ground and pound, but she pulls his head close.
CAPTION I’M NO PUNK DAD. TIME FOR A LITLE REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY.
PIC 7
She slips one leg out.
CAPTION I’M HOLDING HIS HEAD DOWN SO HE WANTS TO PULL HIS HEAD BACK.
PIC 8
Then the other.
CAPTION I’M MOVING MY LEGS OUT SO I CAN TRANSITION INTO MY NEXT PLAN OF ATTACK.
PIC 9
She wraps them around his waist.
CAPTION NOW I CAN CTAY HERE ALL I WANT OR…
PAGE 20
PIC 1
He pulls his head free and she shifts to his back.
CAPTION I CAN GO FOR A BETTER POSITION.
PIC 2
She digs her hooks in and starts to choke him around the neck.
CAPTION I DIG MY CLAWS IN AND PUT HIM IN A BLOOD CHOKE. MOST PEOPLE HAVE ABOUT FIVE TO FIFTEEN SECONDS BEFORE THEY PASS OUT.
PIC 3
It’s a close up of her teeth bared.
CAPTION COME ON TAP!
PIC 4
It’s her father smiling as he shifts her right arm to so his
neck is instead in the crook of her elbow.
CAPTION SHIT.
PIC 5
He then, still on his hands and knees, frees her right hook from
his waist.
CAPTION SHIT!
PIC 6
He then tosses her down hard.
CAPTION OUCH!
Page 21
PIC 1
He moves to finish it with an arm bar.
CAPTION AN ARM BAR? GOTTA MOVE QUICK.
PIC 2
She grabs onto her own hand in hopes of keeping the arm bar from
occurring. She’s pulling hard.
CAPTION COME ON!
PIC 3
He smiles again as he peels her hand.
CAPTION DAMN.
PIC 4
He arches and she taps.
CAPTION OUCH!
PIC 5
He lets go.
CAPTION DAMN IT!
PIC 6
He stands up.
CAPTION HE’S STILL GOT IT.
PAGE 22
PIC 1
It’s a picture of her still on the ground breathing hard. She’s
smiling obviously pleased.
OTOMO KURAMI YOUR NICKNAME STILL APPLIES FATHER.
PIC 2
His hand appears offering her a way up.
PIC 3
She’s now on her feet and examining him.
ODA KUMA KUMARI NICE MOVES KID.
OTOMO KUMARI STILL NOT AS GOOD AS YOU OLD MAN.
ODA KUMA KUMARI MAYBE BUT THE ONE THING US OLD GUYS FEAR IS THE YOUNGER CROWD. WE HAVE EXPIERIENCE BUT THEY HAVE THE HUNGER.
PIC 4
He puts his arm around her shoulders as they start to walk out
of the gym.
ODA KUMA KUMARI YOUR TRANSITIONS WERE FLAWLESS OUT THERE. YOU HAVE TRULY WORKED HARD TO GET WHERE YOU ARE AND I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE PROUD.
OTOMO KUMARI YEAH, BUT I’M STILL NOT WHERE I WANT TO BE.
ODA KUMA KUMARI THAT IS A SIGN OF A TRUE WARRIOR. EVEN WHEN YOU ARE THE BEST, THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE BETTER AND THE ONLY PERSON YOU SHOULD BE LOOKING TO BEAT IS YOURSELF.
PIC 5
Tenshin says something and they turn around.
TENSHIN HEY CHAMP. ONE THING BEFORE YOU GO.
PIC 6
The entire gym is bowing to them. Kuma has his hand on the back
of his head in a nervous gesture.
CROWD COME SEE US AGAIN! WE LEARNED SO MUCH! THANK YOU!
END.
Friday, March 19, 2010
first comic script
BLOOD MATTERS
BY DAMIAN SCIVALLY
I’M THINKING WE’RE GOING TO USE THE 9 PANEL GRID FOR EVERYTHING BUT THE SPLASH PAGES. OF COURSE IF YOU WANT TO TRY OTHER THINGS FEEL FREE BUT I’M WRITING FOR THE 9 PANEL PAGE. BECAUSE I’m afraid of anything else.
Page 1
PIC 1
The background of the first pic is a child’s drawing of a woman on fire. Around her are John Rage holding hands with his daughter Julie Rage. She’s frowning and John Rage has a mask that looks like a red skull on and a knife in his free hand.
CAPTION DADDY TAUGHT ME SOMETHING IMPORTANT BEFORE HE DIED
PIC 2
John Rage bloody and barely alive on his knees before a large blaze his wife screaming in agony around them indistinct people. John Rage is not wearing a mask. He’s fortyish and is completely bald and is big. Young Julie Rage is being held by member of the crowd. His heads not in caption, she’s crying and struggling. This is one of the few times Julie has an emotion.
JOHN RAGE JESSICA!
JESSICA RAGE AAARRRGGGHHH!!!
JULIE RAGE MOMMA!
PIC 3
Julie is drawing the picture on the floor of a very sterile looking tv room of a mental institution. Around her are men in white and other children playing with toys.
PIC 4
John Rage sharpening a knife on a grinder in an old tool shed. He’s lit up by yellow lamplight. Young Julie sits by his feet playing with a headless doll. She’s wearing a white dress and she’s barefoot. John Rage in this pic is huge compared to her, it’s to establish size comparison. Think Kane Hodder Jason size wise. Julie is basically skin and bones with long black hair.
PIC 5
John Rage (masked) using the knife killing a priest while Julie watches on. The setting in this pic is the inside of a church think small town church with a really elaborate crucifix in the background. The priest should be taken from behind John Rage with an arm around his neck and the knife penetrating his sternum.
PIC 6
John Rage (masked) killing a nurse with a phone cord while Julie Rage watches on holding the headless doll, the setting is a hospital think along the lines of Halloween 2. Julie is wearing a white nightgown and watches without any emotion on her face.
CAPTION NEVER
PIC 7
John Rage (masked) killing a rural cop (brown uniform) with a shovel a police car in the background the two are lit by the red and blue light of the cop car.
CAPTION FORGIVE
PIC 8
Finally John Rage being strung up and hung by a mob Julie watching
CAPTION NEVER
PIC 9
Close up of his face twisted in pain, his tongue lulling, his lips turning blue and his hands grabbing feebly at the noose around his neck.
CAPTION FORGET.
PAGE 2
PIC 1
This is a splash page of an adult Julie sitting around a table, with a party hat on her head, and several other adults wearing hats and a cake on the table that says Happy Birthday. A large candle 18 in the middle of it. She’s wearing the standard white clothes common in institutions. She has no emotion on her face, staring at the reader.
CAPTION 1 FROM STARING INTO THE ABYSS; A JOURNEY INTO THE MIND OF RAGE WRITTEN BY DR. DEVIN STEEL
CAPTION 2 SUBJECT JULIE RAGE
CAPTION 3 JULIE RAGE CAME TO STAY WITH US AT THE LAKEVIEW MENTAL HOSPITAL TWELVE YEARS AGO AFTER A SERIES OF TRAUMATIC EVENTS
PARTY GOERS HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
PIC 2
Close up of her profile at the party. Head and shoulders in this pic. No expression, her hair is long and well taken care of. Very pale, deep shadows under her eyes, lips are cracked. Her eyes are blue and she stares as if she’s focused on the reader. Think Samara from the Ring as an adult. Around her is a blur she’s the only thing in focus.
CAPTION JULIE RAGE IS NOT YOUR AVERAGE ADULT
SOMETHING SNAPPED IN HER HEAD AS A CHILD
PIC 3
Close up of her face with the focus of the pic being her eyes.
CAPTION RAGE’S MIND IS MISSING SOMETHING CRUCIALY HUMAN
SHE HAS BURIED HER EMOTIONS SO DEEP I HAVE NOT SEEN HER SMILE OR FROWN OR LAUGH OR CRY SHE STARES PAST US AS IF SHE’S SEEING SOMETHING OR SOMEONE BEYOND THESE WALLS
PIC 4
Super close up of her eyes, staring at the reader as if she’s watching us. The middle of her pupils are black as night and is the focus of the pic.
CAPTION JULIE RAGE IS A MONSTER.
The placement of the last three pics are at the bottom of the page. I want to establish the creep factor for this scene. I want the partygoers and her to be complete opposites. Their moving around and she’s dead still. The colors should be muted when it gets colored (if you want to, I mean. Do what works best for the scene.)
PAGE 3
PIC 1
Julie is passed a piece of cake and it’s placed on the table in front of her. The cake is chocolate with white frosting. Her nails are trimmed past the cuticles.
DR. CULVER BIRTHDAY GIRL GETS THE FIRST PIECE
PIC 2.
Everyone else in shot is passed out a piece of cake with a fork, but Julie doesn’t get a fork. Everyone is happy and smiling enjoying themselves. Even the staff has cake. Marion is a young woman with soft doe eyes. I imagine her with medium length curly brown hair. She’s kneeling beside Julie and smiling.
CAPTION RAGE IS DANGEROUS. SHE IS NOT ALLOWED ANY UTENSILS OR TOOLS
PIC 3
Julie picks up the cake with her hands and eats it. Very much like an animal. Her teeth are small, her canines are slightly pronounced, and white. Frosting is spread on her face.
CAPTION SHE HAS MURDEROUS TENDENCIES AND HAS INJURED MORE THAN ONE PERSON IN HER STAY WITH US.
PIC 4
Marion Culver is dabbing at the chocolate frosting on Julies face. The cake is finished.
JULIE RAGE CAN I GO BACK TO MY ROOM NOW I WANT TO SLEEP
PIC 5
Marion Culver handing her a gift. It’s a box wrapped in newspaper.
DR. CULVER NOT JUST YET SWEETY, YOU HAVE A GIFT.
PIC 6
Julie unwraps the gift and opens the box.
PIC 7
Inside there’s nothing.
MARION CULVER THAT’S STRANGE I’M SORRY SWEETY I DIDN’T KNOW IT WOULD BE EMPTY
PIC 8
Close up of Julie’s mouth the lips spreading slightly.
PIC 9
Same close up but her teeth are now showing in a feral smile
PAGE 4
PIC 1
First pic of Dr. Steel. He has one scarred eye that’s milky white and stares blankly. He has white hair and he has a neatly trimmed beard. He looks to be in his fifties and is gaunt. He’s talking to Dr. Marion Culver about Julie. Marion is smiling and jovial. She seems to think that there’s been a break through Dr. Steel looks skeptical. There standing in a hallway outside of room 565.
DR. CULVER DON’T YOU SEE? IT WAS A BREAKTHROUGH. SOMETHING REGISTERED, SOMETHING GOT THROUGH TO HER.
DR. STEEL
PIC 2 DON’T JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS YET. WHAT YOU SAW WASN’T ANYTHING SPECIAL. I ADMIT THAT IT WAS PARTICULARLY PROMISING, BUT THERE’S SOMETHING ELSE IN THE PICTURE. SOMETHING SINISTER.
PIC 3
Marion is now angry and has her hands in the air gesturing angrily.
MARON CULVER GODDAMN IT DEVIN! WHY DOES IT ALWAYS HAVE TO BE THIS WAY WITH YOU? WHATS YOU’RE ISSUE WITH THAT GIRL? YOU LOOK AT HER LIKE SHE’S SOME KIND OF CREATURE INSTEAD OF A YOUNG WOMAN.
PIC 4
Dr. Steel now is yelling too. He’s angry the little blue vein on the side of his head is now standing out. He’s very animated.
DR.STEEL SHUT UP MARION! YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT SHE’S CAPABLE OF. DO NOT LET HER FOOL YOU, SHE’S CORRUPTED. ITS IN HER BLOOD.
MARION CULVER YOU MEAN HER FATHER? THE SINS OF THE PARENTS ARE HARDLY A REASON TO CONDEMN HER.
PIC5
Cut to inside of the cell with Julie in bed. She’s staring straight up at the ceiling. She’s listening to the conversation.
DR. STEEL NOT HER FATHER. HER MOTHER.
MARION CULVER WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT. THAT WOMAN WAS A VICTIM OF A HEINOUS CRIME.
DR. STEEL HER MOTHER WAS TAINTED. SHE WAS HAUNTED BY VISONS OF THE FUTURE, THE SAME VISIONS THAT NOW HAUNT JULIE. WHY DO YOU THINK SHE ONLY SLEEPS FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS A NIGHT? HAVE YOU NOT SEEN THE DRAWINGS?
PIC 6
Cut to the two of them fighting again.
MARION CULVER NOT THIS RELIGIOUS CRAP AGAIN. THIS TOWN IS CRAZY. YOU’RE LETTING YOUR BELIEFS INTERFERE WITH THE EVIDENCE AT HAND.
DR. STEEL I UNDERSTAND THAT YOU HAVEN’T BEEN IN TOWN FOR TOO LONG MARION AND I CAN’T EXPECT YOU TO UNDERSTAND BUT DO I HAVE TO REMIND YOU THAT I AM HER COURT APPOINTED GUARDIAN. I HAVE BEEN WITH HER SINCE SHE WAS SIX YEARS OLD AND I KNOW WHAT THAT “LITTLE GIRL” IS CAPABLE OF.
PIC 7
Back to the cell close up of her face eyes open and staring
MARION CULVER YOU’RE USING THAT POOR GIRL. YOU ONLY WANT TO CONTAIN HER. TRYING TO MILK ANOTHER BOOK OUT OF HER. THAT’S WHY YOU REFUSED TO TREAT HER.
DR. STEEL WATCH YOUR TONE. I HAVE BEEN VERY PATIENT WITH YOU BUT I WON’T TAKE ANYMORE OF THIS INSOLENCE. THAT GIRL IS STILL DANGEROUS.
PIC 8
Cut to the argument.
MARION CULVER SHE HASN’T HAD A VIOLENT EPISODE IN YEARS. ITS TIME THAT YOU LET HER HEAL.TIME THAT YOU LET HER GROW UP.
PIC 9
Julie is smiling in the dark.
DR STEEL THAT’S IT PACK YOU’RE THINGS YOU’RE FIRED!
MARION CULVER NO, YOU POMPOUS PRICK I QUIT!
PAGE 5
PIC 1
Dr. Devin Steel is sitting at his desk and writing in a black book. His sleeves are rolled up and his tie is undone. He looks distraught. Something is clearly bothering him.
CAPTION OCTOBER 28 2010 -IT’S GOOD THAT DR. CULVER IS LEAVING LAKEVIEW SHE’S TOO SOFT. JULIE RAGE IS A BEAST HIDING BEHIND A LITTLE GIRL. SHE’S CURSED.
PIC 2
Close up of his face the focus of the pic should be on his gross funky eye.
CAPTION I’VE BORE WITNESS AT THE DARKNESS THAT LURKS BEHIND HER EYES.
PIC 3
Julie rage age 6 is sitting in a chair across from a younger Dr. Steel, a large metal table is between them. She’s using a pen to draw a picture.
CAPTION NOVEMBER 5TH 1998 IT’S BEEN ONE WEEK SINCE JOHN RAGE FATHER OF JULIE RAGE WAS LYNCHED IN A RETALITORY EFFORT BY THE GOOD PEOPLE OF PERSONVILLE.
PIC 4
Close up of the drawing. It appears to be an eye. She’s swirling the pen very quickly around the pupil.
CAPTION SHE APPEARS TO BE IN A STUPOR WITH VERY LITTLE REACTION TO EXTERNAL STIMULI. NO ONE COULD BLAME HER SHE HAS IN THE PAST SIX MONTHS LOST BOTH HER PARENTS IN VERY TRAUMATIC WAYS.
PIC 5
Close up of the drawing her hand is still swirling.
CAPTION IT’S OUR FIRST SESSION TOGETHER AND I’M MERELY LOOKING TO GET A REACTION OUT OF HER. IT’S BEEN TWENTY FIVE MINUTES AND SHE HASN’T SAID A WORD TO ME. I’M STARTING TO GET DESPERATE.
PIC 6
Close up of the eye on the page and the picture tears and the pen stops.
DR. STEEL DID YOUR FATHER SEXUALLY ABUSE YOU? DID HE TOUCH YOU INAPROPRIATELY?
PIC 7
Julie leaping across the table with the pen in hand at Dr. Steel. He’s falling backwards at the shock of it.
PIC 8
Julie is straddling the doctor on the ground with the pen held in the air above her head.
PIC 9
Close up of his eye and the pen (with motion lines) a millimeter away from his open eye.
PAGE 6
PIC 1
Julie strapped into the chair. She’s just looking at Dr. Steel, Across from her Dr. Steel has a white bandage over his eye.
DR. STEEL I WANT TO TALK ABOUT THE CRAYON INCIDENT.
JULIE RAGE …
PIC 2
Julie is coloring on the floor in the TV room. She’s surrounded by people but she’s absorbed. No one seems to notice her except for a red haired freckled boy named Donald. He seems to be taking an unusual interest in what she’s drawing.
PIC 3
Donald is holding the sheet of paper now and Julie has stopped drawing. He appears to be staring intently at the drawing with a disgusted look on his face.
DONALD WHAT THE HELL IS THIS? YOU’RE SICK!
PIC 4
Donald looks down at her and she hasn’t moved a muscle. He looks perplexed for a second.
PIC 5
Donald kicks her crayons over in his disdain over her no reaction. Everyone else seems to be ignoring the situation. The invalids are too busy watching TV and the members of the staff are busy reading the newspaper. The shot is from a first person perspective of one of the staff members with the newspaper taking up the bottom half of the pic.
DONALD YOU’RE A FREAK! THAT’S WHAT YOU ARE!
PIC 6
Close up of the crayons rolling in front of her right, next to her hands.
DONALD FREAK! FREAK! FREAK!
PIC 7
Dr. Steel is revealed to be watching intently from the entrance of the TV room.
DONALD YOU’RE A FREAK JUST LIKE YOUR DADDY AND MOMMY!
PIC 8
Her hands grip the crayons on the ground in a large fist load.
PIC 9
Donald is on the ground in a very similar position that Dr. Steel was just in. The crayons are up in the air, the camera is facing her and Donald has tears that are coming out of his eyes.
PAGE 7
PIC 1
The crayons are brought down. The camera is on her back. Donald’s arm’s are out and their shaking one still clinging desperately to her drawing.
PIC 2
From the first person view of the staff member with the paper he’s flung it aside and is moving toward the two. The invalids haven’t reacted at all.
PIC 3
The staff member grabs her and takes her off of him.
STAFF MEMBER OH MY GOD!
PIC 4
The newspaper falls to the ground next to some broken shattered teeth.
PIC 5
The fate of Donald is revealed he has a mouth full of crayons, he’s still alive but he’s gagging horribly. His mouth is bloody (Not overly gory)
STAFF MEMBER SOMEONE CALL AN AMBULANCE!
PIC 6
She is being shuffled back to her room and she isn’t overly concerned what’s happening around her. She passes the horrified Dr. Steel as paramedics rush past the good doctor and attend to Donald.
PIC 7
Dr. Steel is still standing there as Donald is rushed passed him the picture he was holding falls crumpled to the ground. He looks interested at what she was drawing.
PIC 8
He picks up the crumpled piece of paper.
PIC 9
Back in the office and the picture she was drawing is revealed. It’s a mass of multicolored crayons inside of a mouth. A couple of cartoon teeth are flying in the air next to it.
PAGE8
PIC1
It’s a couple of days before Julie turns 18. It’s technically a couple of days before legally she’s not allowed to be held by the state. She’s still under the impression that she’ll be allowed to leave soon.
It’s the same across the table conversation as earlier. She’s still strapped to the chair, but she’s talking calmly to Dr, Steel.
DR. STEEL NOW JULIE I FEEL I SHOULD LET YOU KNOW AS YOUR COURT APOINTED GUARDIAN THAT UPON REACHING YOUR 18TH BIRTHDAY LEGALLY WE COULDN’T KEEP YOU HERE IN THIS FACILITY. BUT SINCE I’M YOUR DOCTOR AS WELL AND I BELIEVE YOU TO STILL BE UNFIT FOR SOCIETY I’M KEEPING YOU COMMITED.
PIC 2
Focus on Julie she isn’t reacting just staring coldly at the good doctor. Her brows furrow slightly.
JULIE RAGE I THOUGHT YOU HAD PROMISED ME THAT IF I WAS GOOD I COULD LEAVE.
PIC3
Focus on Dr. Steel his fingers are steepled. His eyebrows are raised.
DR. STEEL THAT’S TRUE BUT WE BOTH KNOW THE TRUTH DON’T WE JULIE. YOU’RE NOT GOOD, QUITE THE OPPOSITE IN FACT. YOU KNOW THAT THE THERAPY HASN’T HELPED. YOU’RE STILL THE SAME LITTLE GIRL YOU ONCE WERE.
PIC4
Julie is sitting across from him with the same look except her head is slightly cocked to the left side.
JULIE RAGE YOU’RE A LIAR DR. STEEL. I HATE LIARS.
PIC5
Dr. Steel is sitting uncomfortably staring at her. Fingers are no longer steepled their gripping the arms of his chair in a white knuckle grip.
DR. STEEL EVERYONE LIES JULIE. IT’S HUMAN NATURE. I’M DOING THIS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD. DON’T YOU SEE WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF WE LET YOU OUT OF HERE THE WAY YOU ARE? YOU AREN’T READY FOR SOCIETY.
PIC 6
Julie’s head is bent down and she whispers something.
PIC 7
Dr. Steel is moving his head slightly forward trying to hear what she’s saying.
DR. STEEL WHAT WAS THAT JULIE?
PIC8
He leans over the desk his hands propping himself as he leans forward.
JULIE RAGE (NO DIALOGUE)
PIC 9
It’s a profile shot with the doctor leaning over the desk and his head very close to her head almost too close. Use motion lines to show her head moving upwards. Her face is suddenly face to face with him
JULIE RAGE SOCIETY IS NOT READY FOR ME!
.PAGE 9
This sequence is a Birthday montage. It’s the same scene as the first birthday, but with her growing up in rapid order. You only have 9 panels to do it so its cool if some of these pics have her looking very similar to the ones before. The candle is a big waxy one with the age she is on it.
PIC 1
Julie at the age of 9.
CAPTION ON HER 3RD YEAR HERE IT WAS DECIDED BY THE BOARD THAT THE PATIENTS WOULD START TO HAVE A FORMALIZED BIRTHDAY.
PIC 2
Julie at age 10.
CAPTION THE IDEA WAS THAT TREATING PATIENTS LIKE THEY WERE ON THE OUTSIDE MIGHT ADD SOME NORMALCY TO THEIR LIVES.
PIC 3
Julie at age 11
CAPTION IT WAS A USELESS GESTURE BUT IT BECAME A STRANGE TRADITION AMONGST THE STAFF. THE SAME PARTY HATS WERE USED AS WERE THE SAME DECORATIONS. THEY WERE STORED UNTIL THEY WERE NEEDED.
PIC 4
Julie at age 12
CAPTION JULIE NEVER SEEMED TO NOTICE. SHE JUST ATE THE SAME PIECE OF CAKE WITH HER HANDS AND SHE WAS LEAD BACK TO HER ROOM TO MINIMIZE CONTACT WITH THE OTHER PATIENTS.
PIC 5
Julie at age 13
CAPTION WHAT CHANGED THOUGH? WHY WOULD SHE SMILE LIKE THAT?
PIC 6
Julie at age 14
CAPTION IT COULDN’T HAVE BEEN THE PRESENT. THERE WAS NOTHING INSIDE.
PIC 7
Julie at age 15.
CAPTION MAYBE IT WAS LIKE DR. CULVER SAID MAYBE IT WAS A BREAKTHROUGH.
PIC 8
Julie at age 16
CAPTION NO, THERE HAS TO BE SOMETHING ELSE.
PIC 9
Julie at age 17
CAPTION SOMETHING I’M MISSING.
PAGE 10
PIC 1
Close up of Julie smiling at the party.
PIC2
Close up of the newspaper wrapping on his desk next to the empty box.
PIC 3
He unfurls the newspaper and looks at it. On the cover it says Masked Killer Returns? Mysterious Murder Rocks the Heart of Small Town America…
PIC 4
Dr. Steel slams down his palm on the desk.
Dr. Steel SHIT! THAT’S IT!
PIC 5
He’s rushing out the door of his office. It’s filed with musty books and a globe along with a couple of busts.
PIC 6
Marion Culver puts down her box of things just outside of room 565. She takes her keys out of her pocket and unlocks the door.
PIC 7
She steps inside and Julie appears to be asleep. She doesn’t turn on the light.
PIC 8
Dr. Steel is rushing down a hallway. He’s passing other Doctors and nurses and one is shoved to the ground.
DOCTOR HEY!
DR. STEEL GET THE HELL OUT OF MY WAY!
PIC9
Marion Culver is sitting on the bed next to Julie stroking her head.
DR. CULVER WHAT HAS HE DONE TO YOU? I KNOW THAT YOU JUST NEED SOMEONE TO TREAT YOU LIKE A HUMAN BEING. HE KEEPS YOU HERE ALL ALONE BECAUSE HE THINKS YOU’RE A MONSTER.
PAGE 11
PIC 1
Dr. Steel is pounding the button on the elevator.
Dr. Steel COME ON! COME ON! COME ON!
PIC2
Julie is awake and listening to Dr. Culver. Julie’s whispering something to her.
Dr. Culver appears excited she wants to know what she’s saying. She’s thinking it’s the breakthrough that Julie needed.
PIC3
The elevator doors shut as Dr. Steel is heading toward floor five.
PIC 4
Dr. Culver puts her ear next to Julie’s mouth.
JULIE RAGE BUT I AM A MONSTER!
PIC 5
Julie wraps her arms around Dr. Culvers head and plants her teeth into her neck. Dr. Culver tries to scream and finds she’s unable to. Her eyes are wide with panic and terror.
DR. CULVER GURGLE*
PIC 6
Dr. Steel is rushing down the hallway toward 565 he has key in hand. He’s passing a man with ear buds mopping and a woman at a round desk with a phone next to her. Pearls hang around her neck.
PIC 7
He opens the door and turns on the light and finds someone sleeping in the bed facing the wall.
PIC8
He walks toward her his hands are extended. Ready to turn and run at the drop of a hat.
PIC9
This time it’s the perspective of the camera facing the person in the blanket. The focus is on her face. Marion is shocked frozen in terror. Her eyes too wide. His hand is reaching toward her and it’s bigger than he is because of the perspective.
Page 12
PIC1
The camera is outside the room. As if someone is lurking just outside the doorway watching what unfolds. The doctor has pulled the body and an arm flops down fingers touching the ground.
DR. STEEL AHHHHHHGGGGGGHHH!!!
PIC2
The camera has moved back down the hallway where the Janitors head is smashed against a wall.
PIC3
The woman with the pearls is being strangled with her pearls. Her face is turning blue and she’s struggling in vain to free herself from the grip of Julie who has a very firm grip. Julie’s mouth is covered in blood and she’s smiling. The lighting should be from the ground up. Julie has one foot planted at the edge of the desk using it as leverage.
PIC 4
The elevator door opens and two orderlies get out and start running toward the screaming. Julie is leaning against the wall out of sight.
PIC 5
The elevator door shuts. And the thing you see before it shuts is her smile.
PIC 6
The elevator door opens to a reception area and lobby. The night staff is currently busy upstairs and the only person downstairs is a woman on the phone at the reception desk. The phone is pressed against her ear and she’s not paying attention. She’s also reading a paperback and a cup of hot coffee is on the desk within easy reach but not in her line of sight.
WOMAN ON PHONE YEAH…YES…I KNOW
PIC 7
The coffee is swiped from the desk as the woman reaches for it.
PIC 8
She turns to look for the cup.
WOMAN ON PHONE Where…
PIC 9
She gets a face full of steaming coffee.
WOMAN ON PHONE GAH!
PAGE 13
PIC 1
Coffee mug gets broken on the table and the handle remains on Julie’s finger.
WOMAN ON PHONE WHAT THE FUCK!
PIC 2
The handle is used to open up the woman’s throat. Blood oozing out of her artery.
PIC 3
She coughs and sputters blind and unable to speak holding her throat as the phone continues to squawk, as Julie walks out the door.
PHONE HELLO?
WOMAN ON PHONE *COUGH*
PHONE ANYWAY, LIKE I WAS SAYING…
WOMAN ON PHONE *SPUTTER*
PIC 4
Julie walks into the small private lot and pulls out a set of keys and pushes a button on the key ring she swiped from Dr. Culver. A large grey SUV clicks on with a *BEEP, BEEP*
PIC 5
Julie is now inside with her hands on the ten and two position and the car turned on. The radio is on and it’s loud, but Julie doesn’t seem to mind. She stares forward for a second.
PIC 6
Split this one diagonally with her putting the car in reverse and the other picture is her as a kid with a large hand showing her how to put the car into gear.
PIC 7
The SUV moves backward out of the parking space. Its dark out so the lights on the SUV come on.
PIC8
Split this one diagonally as well. Her foot hits the peddle. On the other half of the picture her foot as a child is unable to reach the gas but her fathers foot instead presses it down.
PIC 9
There is a security guard at the gate of Lakeview he see’s the car coming so he’s getting ready to come out to check out the car and to push open the gates. It’s relatively standard procedure. He’s older been working here for the past twenty five years he probably wears the same coffee stained uniform every night.
PAGE 14
PIC 1
The radio squawks and the guard looks mighty spooked as he gets out of the guard shack.
RADIO BEWARE, WE HAVE AN ESCAPEE SHE’S JUST KILLED AT LEAST THREE OF OURS AND SHE MAY BE TRYING TO ESCAPE. BE ON ALERT AND LOCKDOWN THE FACILITY NO ONE IN OR OUT.
PIC 2
The guard has dropped his clip board and is drawing his gun as the vehicle approaches him, it hasn’t slowed down.
PIC3
The guard attempts to have them slow down, but the brights come on instead and he covers his eyes.
PIC 4
The SUV hits him and pins him in between the SUV and the gate. The gate bursts open as well.
PIC 5
It’s a first person view from inside as his arms desperately grab at the front hood of the car.
PIC 6
The SUV skids out of the lot onto a country road. The body of the guard is dragging behind it his leg is caught on the under carriage.
PIC 7
The guard’s body finally breaks free and the shot is of the road ravaged corpse staring at the camera as the SUV drives away the red lights of the SUV lighting up the corpse.
PIC 8
Julie switches the channel on the radio staring at the road.
RADIO SWEET SOUNDS OF THE SEVENTIES…SQAUWK…AND NOW FOR THE JOHN…SQUAWK…A KILLER STALKING THE STREETS OF PERSONVILLE…SQUAWK…
PIC 9
She finds a station that agrees with her and she cranks it.
RADIO HIT AND RUN MY LOVE…BUT BROKEN LESS THAN I ASK FOR…
PAGE 15
PIC 1
A cop is parked on the side of the road. He’s a rural cop with a large pedo-mustache and large aviators. He’s eating Chinese food with chopsticks.
PIC 2
The SUV burns past him as he drops his chopsticks and his meal on his lap.
COP GODAMN IT!
PIC 3
Close up of the cops face. He looks like he’s seen to many movies as he puts on a serious face and removes his aviators.
COP YOU WANT TO PLAY? ALL RIGHT LETS’S PLAY.
PIC 4
We’re inside the SUV again and behind her the cherries come on, she stops smiling.
PIC5
Split this one diagonally. The SUV pulls over to the side of the road and parks. So does the cop car.
PIC 6
Split this one diagonally. She opens the glove compartment and finds a stun gun. The cop looks at himself in the mirror and puts a toothpick into his mouth.
PIC 7
He walks slowly up to the car examining the dripping blood on the back of the truck.
COP MUST HAVE HIT A DEER. GOOD I’LL FINE THEM DOUBLE.
PIC 8
He walks to the car window and taps on the glass.
PIC 9
Nothing happens as he shines his flashlight inside. There’s no one inside and it appears the passenger window is open.
PAGE 16
PIC 1
He pulls out his gun and slowly walks to the other side of the car.
PIC 2
There’s nothing there and he slowly starts walking back toward his car.
\PIC 3
Something makes a sound in the tree line next to him.
PIC 4
He swings his pistol over and aims it into the woods.
COP COME OUT OF THERE, NOW, OR I’M GOING TO PUT SIX OF THESE INTO YOU’RE ASSHOLE!
PIC 5
Suddenly a blur moves out.
PIC 6
He fires six times as it makes it to the other side of the road and falls into the ditch.
COP HA! YOU SEE THAT!
PIC 7
He holsters his revolver very cowboy like.
COP YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE FUCKED WITH ME!
PIC 8
He swaggers over to the ditch.
PIC 9
He looks with satisfaction at the trail of blood across the road. He makes it to the other side and sees a lump of tall grass spattered with blood with a body inside.
PAGE 17
PIC 1
He moves the tall grass and behind it is a dead deer. The cop has a sneer on his face.
COP SHIT.
PIC 2
He draws his gun, reloads it and starts back toward his car.
PIC 3
His lights suddenly go off. And there’s a smashing sound as he climbs out of the ditch.
PIC 4
He cautiously approaches his vehicle.
COP YOU WANT TO FUCK WITH ME HUH? WELL I’M GOING TO PUT THE HAMMER DOWN. YOU WANT THE LAW I’LL BRING THE LAW!
PIC 5
He bends over the window and finds his laptop broken and his radio smashed and his keys are missing.
COP SHIIIIT.
PIC 6
He turns around shining the light all around him.
PIC 7
There’s nothing there.
PIC 8
He pulls his radio and tries calling the sheriff.
COP THIS IS CAR 66. I MAY NEED BACKUP.
SHERRIFF WHATS GOIN ON CAR 66?
COP I PULLED OVER A SUSPICIOUS VEHICLE FOR SPEEDING AND THE SUSPECT MAY HAVE FLED THE SCENE. TOOK MY KEYS AND SMASHED MY RADIO AND COMPUTER.
PIC 9
The camera is under the car. Watching a pair of legs
SHERRIFF GODDAMN IT CAR 66 DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT TOOK US TO GET THAT TECHNOLOGY? MONEY DOESN’T GROW ON TREES AROUND HERE.
COP SORRY SHERRIFF. I-
PAGE 18
PIC 1
An arm shoots out from under the car with the stun gun. He shakes dropping the radio. It falls to the ground.
COP GAHH!!!
SOUND EFFECT BZZT!
PIC 2
He’s shaking on the ground and she slowly crawls out from under the car.
PIC 3
She picks up his pepper spray can looking at it.
PIC 4
She sprays him in the face. He starts to cough and sputter
COP *cough, cough, cough*
PIC 5
She picks up his night stick and starts to hit him over and over again.
SHERRIFF CAR 66 ANSWER ME YOU SONOFABITCH. I DON’T CARE IF YOU’RE MY WIFES BROTHER IF YOU LET THAT EQUIPMENT GET DAMAGED I’LL HAVE YOU OUT OF HERE SO FAST YOUR HEAD’LL SPIN.
PIC 6
His leg starts to shake involuntarily as she smashes his skull in.
PIC 7
She lets the night stick fall to the ground.
SHERRIFF CAR 66 ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?
PIC 8
She picks up the radio.
JULIE RAGE NO. HE’S IN A TIME OUT.
SHERRIFF WHO IS THIS?
PIC 9
The SUV starts up and is driving away.
SHERRIFF I NEED BACK UP TO CAR 66’S LAST KNOWN POSITION. GO! GO! GO!
PAGE 19
PIC 1
This is a shot of her in the cab eating the Chinese food from the cop’s car with her free hand. The radio is blasting.
PIC 2
The gas light flicks on.
PIC 3
She pulls over at a gas station called the Stop and Go. It’s tiny with two pumps.
PIC 4
The camera is inside the gas station and the attendant, a girl named Jill, is reading a magazine behind the counter. She appears to be engrossed. Jill is night shift her shirt is untucked and she’s chewing gum.
PIC 5
The door opens and Jill doesn’t even look up. She appears to be reading about how to please your man in six easy steps.
PIC 6
A full mop bucket is sitting next to her as she leans against the counter her back to the door way.
PIC 7
This shot is as if a surveillance camera is watching the events play out. Julie is standing behind her with her head tilted to the left. Behind Julie is bloody foot prints (she’s still barefoot.)
PIC 8
Julie is missing from this shot. It’s just Jill reading.
PIC 9
Julie is behind her with a can of dogfood.
PAGE 20
PIC 1
This shot isn’t from the security cameras. Jill realizes someone is waiting for her and she turns around getting hit by the can.
PIC 2
This is a security cam shot as Jill crumples to the floor and Julie is crawling over the counter.
PIC 3
This is a close up shot of Jill still conscious trying to move and Julie’s bloody feet right next to her face.
JILL PLEASE.. JUST TAKE THE MONEY.
PIC 4
Julie reaches down and grabs onto her hair and is holding her head above the grey water of the mop bucket.
PIC 5
This shot has Julies hands holding the struggling Jill’s head under the water.
PIC 6
The security camera has switched so it’s a behind the counter shot as Julie is holding Jill under the water. Jill is struggling drunkenly to no avail.
PIC 7
Jill stops struggling and Julie stands up.
PIC 8
This is the security camera of Julie dragging Jill to the bathroom.
PIC 9
Outside five cop cars rush past the gas station going toward Car 66’s position.
PAGE 21
PIC 1
Security camera shot. Julie is now cleaned and dressed in Jill’s clothing and shoes. Her nametag is still on her shirt.
PIC 2
This shot is an overhead view as Julie drives out of the parking lot in Jill’s car an old maroon grocery getter. The radio is blasting.
PIC 3
This shot is of Julie in the driver’s seat. She has next to her a bunch of Little Debbie snacks that she stole from the gas station. She’s driving and eating one. She appears to be very pleased.
PIC 4
Julie is driving down the road and bunch teenagers drive up next to her in a car filled with people and a girl and a guy hanging out the front and rear car window.
PARTIERS YAAAAAAHHH!!!!
PIC 5
Julie turns and looks at them and the girl who’s hanging out speaks to Julie.
GIRL PARTIER HEY SWEETY YOU LOOK CUTE. WHY DON’T YOU COME WITH US TO THE PARTY AT SWEENY’S PLACE. HE JUST CAME BACK FROM A FANCY COLLEGE AND HE’S THROWING A HALLOWEEN PARTY! HE LIVES UP THE ROAD LOOK FOR THE HOUSE WITH BALLOONS ON THE MAILBOX!
PIC 6 LLLQQ
Truck lights appear from above a hill barreling down the old country road coming toward the partier’s car.
PIC 7
They laugh and the driver tries to speed up to pass Julie.
PIC 8
Julie matches their speed and they try to pass her again.
GUY PARTIER HEY BITCH THAT ISN’T FUNNY!
PIC 9
The semi honks its horn as it collides with the partier’s car, too late to swerve or do anything to avoid the collision.
PAGE 22
PIC 1
The partiers fall to pieces as they get thrown out, cut in half, and any other nasty thing you want to draw. The truck driver isn’t hurt and the partiers vehicle is in the middle of folding up.
PIC 2
From the rear view mirror it shows Julies mouth. Her crystal white teeth illuminated by the dash board lights.
PIC 3
The truck driver an older man with whiskers, a truckers hat, and a flannel shirt, has a shocked look on his face as blood splatters on his windshield.
PIC 4
Its Julie driving again and she’s driving down the road.
PIC 5
She barrels past the mailbox that has balloons on it the balloons on the mailbox blowing in the direction of her car.
PIC 7
The car reverses.
PIC 8
She pulls into the driveway driving down the path.
PIC 9
From the safety of the bushes a hand is on a tree and a masked man looks out. The mask looks like a red skull made out of leather exactly like the mask of the John Rage.
End.
Profiles of the main characters
JOHN RAGE (ALIVE)
About 6’3” tall
About 250lbs
Large hands, brown eyes, bald,
His skin colors a farmers tan.
When he’s killing, he has a red skull mask made of leather.
His ears have been cauliflowered and when he’s not wearing the mask he has some vivid scars from his time in the service. His clothing when he’s killing is along the lines of your typical slashers. Full body jump suit grey or blue. Something that can easily be gotten out of if need be. Big black military boots and black gloves. Think New Jason from new movie.
JOHN RAGE (DEAD)
His skin is grey and he appears to be rotting in certain areas. Think along the lines of Kane Hodder Jason or even Freddy vs. Jason Jason. His clothing is barely held together in certain areas and he no longer has eyes they’ve rotted away so now there just blank holes.
Julie Rage
5’9”
About 120 lbs
Small delicate hands nails trimmed past the cuticles. Black circles under her eyes. Long Black hair, pale white skin, big blue brown streaked eyes. Skinny almost so much so you want to say “Eat a sandwich” skinny. Small modest breasts nothing ridiculous. She’s gaunt but fit so her muscles are well toned. No makeup, and her grasp on emotions is off. So anytime she shows an emotion it’s not going to be subtle its going to be full bore.
Edgar Rage
Edgar is 6’ about 180 lbs has blonde short hair and blue eyes. He’s athletic and muscular. He prefers to wear loose fitting clothes that he can move in and change out of it if need be. He’s charismatic and intelligent, witty, funny, and can be very subtle with expressions.
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